March 1972
I had broken up with my girlfriend and one day fiance a week before the day I went to the officer's quarters to ask Brian about something. Brian had a Jimmy Swaggart tape in his tape recorder playing in the background as I sat down to ask him about whatever I needed to ask him.
In the background a song came on I never heard before called, "How Long Has It Been?" The words cut through me:
How long has it been since you talked with the Lord
And told him your heart's hid in secrets
How long since you prayed how long since you stayed
On your knees till the light shone through
How long has it been since your mind felt at ease
How long since your heart knew no burden
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
How long has it been since you knelt by and then prayed to the Lord up in heaven
How long since you knew that he'd answer you
And would keep you the long night through
How long has it been since you woke with the dawn and felt this day is worth living
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
I sobbed uncontrollably out loud.
After the song I explained to Brian that I had backslidden and as I finally gained my composure another song came on written by Dottie Rambo:
He left the splendor of heaven
Knowing His destiny
It was the lonely hill of Golgotha
There to lay down His life for me
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Even in death He remembered
The thief hanging by His side
Then he spoke of love and compassion
And He took him to paradise
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Without the Word and Prayer in my life, there was a huge void. I felt alienated from God, like God was disappointed in me and I didn't want to face it or deal with it. This void didn't come overnight but came gradually, day by day, so slowly that I didn't realize I had fallen and had no clue how far from God I was. My attitude changed as I became more and more critical about the church and people in it.
Even when I knew that I had fallen, I had no clue how to get back out of the pit I had dug for myself. I felt God was angry with me and would not want me back right away, but while in this state, in Brian's room, my life placed back on track as I listened to the words of God's forgiveness in the songs.
I felt like the Prodigal Son felt in Luke 15, who left his home and turned his back on his father in order to get "freedom" and to be on his own. He had friends and partied until one day his income dried up and he was left without anywhere to go. He sold himself to the lowest of jobs until he finally decided it was time to swallow his pride and go home. So with his tail between his legs he went back home.
The parable is surprising, because we learn that his dad was waiting for him. His dad didn't scold him, lecture him, get angry or yell at him. His dad ran to his son and hugged him with the biggest and most intense hug. I felt that in Brian's room. It was overwhelming and that is why all I could do is cry.
The story in Luke 15 continues to say that dad then gave his lost son clean clothes and threw the best welcome home party.
I wept again and I knew that God loved me.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Girl Who Broke My Heart
April 1972
Pam stood in the choir week after week and I never noticed her, until one day her deep blue eyes fell upon me and mine upon hers'; we were dating shortly after. Most of our dates were exciting Sunday mornings holding hands in the back of the church, but after a month or two of dating I showed up at church and Pam was not sitting in the back of the church awaiting my presence, she was sitting in the front of the church with her parents. My heart sank.
Pam stood in the choir week after week and I never noticed her, until one day her deep blue eyes fell upon me and mine upon hers'; we were dating shortly after. Most of our dates were exciting Sunday mornings holding hands in the back of the church, but after a month or two of dating I showed up at church and Pam was not sitting in the back of the church awaiting my presence, she was sitting in the front of the church with her parents. My heart sank.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Hitching a Ride to Tampa
May 1972
My sister Cindy was visiting a friend in Tampa, so I hitched a ride to Tampa in order to visit her. I was getting better with witnessing (telling people about Jesus) because from time to time Ray and I use to go out witnessing together so I was quickly getting the hang of it.
Hitchhiking in the early 70s was not too difficult and a lot of young people did it. It usually took about 15 minutes to an hour before somebody would pick me up. On my ride to Tampa I was picked up by a guy my age who seemed to be a nice enough fellow, so as our conversation went, I looked for opportunity to talk about Jesus. The opportunity hit and when he realized the subject we were on he said, "I don't need that stuff." In return I asked him what he was looking for in life. He said, "Peace." Now most of you will know where this goes. "Jesus can give that to you," I told him.
In witnessing there is something far more important and far deeper than being good at talking and answering. That something is the Holy Spirit drawing one to Christ. One writer called God the Hound of Heaven because the Holy Spirit of God pursues and draws people to Christ. I cannot for the life of me do the work the Holy Spirit does. I cannot give people the conviction and the hunger needed to bring somebody to a new life in Christ. Only God can do that.
With the few words I shared with the driver, I saw the transformation - his combative defense turned immediately. He was hungry to know all about Jesus... so much so that he drove me to my sister's place and hung out for awhile.
The problem was this: Even though he was hungry I didn't ask him the basic question, "Would you like to give your life to Christ?" Why not? I had not yet learned when people are ready to be asked that question. In fact, it was only after I reflected on that night that I realized that he was ready and willing, and all I had to do is ask him if he would like to make that decision.
Are you ready?
My sister Cindy was visiting a friend in Tampa, so I hitched a ride to Tampa in order to visit her. I was getting better with witnessing (telling people about Jesus) because from time to time Ray and I use to go out witnessing together so I was quickly getting the hang of it.
Hitchhiking in the early 70s was not too difficult and a lot of young people did it. It usually took about 15 minutes to an hour before somebody would pick me up. On my ride to Tampa I was picked up by a guy my age who seemed to be a nice enough fellow, so as our conversation went, I looked for opportunity to talk about Jesus. The opportunity hit and when he realized the subject we were on he said, "I don't need that stuff." In return I asked him what he was looking for in life. He said, "Peace." Now most of you will know where this goes. "Jesus can give that to you," I told him.
In witnessing there is something far more important and far deeper than being good at talking and answering. That something is the Holy Spirit drawing one to Christ. One writer called God the Hound of Heaven because the Holy Spirit of God pursues and draws people to Christ. I cannot for the life of me do the work the Holy Spirit does. I cannot give people the conviction and the hunger needed to bring somebody to a new life in Christ. Only God can do that.
With the few words I shared with the driver, I saw the transformation - his combative defense turned immediately. He was hungry to know all about Jesus... so much so that he drove me to my sister's place and hung out for awhile.
The problem was this: Even though he was hungry I didn't ask him the basic question, "Would you like to give your life to Christ?" Why not? I had not yet learned when people are ready to be asked that question. In fact, it was only after I reflected on that night that I realized that he was ready and willing, and all I had to do is ask him if he would like to make that decision.
Are you ready?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The People You Meet Hitchhiking
With my thumb out I got all types of drivers to pick me up and drive my to whatever destination I was going to. The Coast Guard Station was very close to the Navy Station in Jacksonville, so from time to time Navy men stopped to give me rides. However, on one occasion two very lonely and not so pretty Navy wives stopped their car. As the one got out of the car to fit me in-between them in the front I saw the set up, but hopped in without worry - maybe I was naive or maybe I just felt invincible, I don't know, I just didn't feel threatened. Sandwiched in they were looking at each other anticipating what they would do next.
Then the driver turned to me and asked, "Is that a Bible in your hand?" I assured her it was. With resignation she admitted, "You know what we was gonna do to you?" I played stupid even though I knew exactly what they were up to. "We was gonna rape you." Within the 20 minute drive home I told them about Jesus, prayed with them and got them to commit to going to church.
As a single guy I use to wish good looking girls would pick me up, but it was always guys or as in the one case lonely Navy wives. One day as I bemoaned my lot I mentioned to the Lord, "Why can't I ever get any good looking girls to pick me up?" Seconds later a car full of 10 girls stopped and drove me the next leg of the way. I jammed into a the car with all of the girls singing Christian songs - they were on their way to the local Church of God (another Pentecostal church). I felt like this was God's humor on my behalf. I prayed for one and he gave me ten.
Then the driver turned to me and asked, "Is that a Bible in your hand?" I assured her it was. With resignation she admitted, "You know what we was gonna do to you?" I played stupid even though I knew exactly what they were up to. "We was gonna rape you." Within the 20 minute drive home I told them about Jesus, prayed with them and got them to commit to going to church.
As a single guy I use to wish good looking girls would pick me up, but it was always guys or as in the one case lonely Navy wives. One day as I bemoaned my lot I mentioned to the Lord, "Why can't I ever get any good looking girls to pick me up?" Seconds later a car full of 10 girls stopped and drove me the next leg of the way. I jammed into a the car with all of the girls singing Christian songs - they were on their way to the local Church of God (another Pentecostal church). I felt like this was God's humor on my behalf. I prayed for one and he gave me ten.
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Night of Fear
June 1972
Our ship stayed for a few nights in Miami, FL which meant I couldn't go to visit my friends and church. So I decided to take my bible and my thumb with me and check out Miami. I was really good with directions and had no idea where anything was so I thought I would just go aimlessly and explore...oh my, what a mistake I made. I should have stayed at the ship, but I was hoping to discover something special in Miami.
After catching a ride downtown I somehow ended up walking through the poorest and the most dangerous place in Miami (a few short years before riots ruled the streets). Tension was in the air, a lot of people were out in the streets at night and I was walking through the streets like a fish out of water. Up until then, I had been in many different and sometimes scary situations that somehow didn't faze me much, but walking by myself through the streets with people staring at me like I didn't belong scared me. I picked up my pace and walked as fast as I could trying to find my way out of the neighborhood I got into. As I was speed walking down the street hoping the end was close somebody said, "That bible isn't going to save him here."
Several blocks later I was out safely on a highway ready to go home. Whether it was the bible or not, I made it out without any problems and got back on the highway where I hitched a ride back to the ship.
A very expensive foreign sports car with 2 seats stopped in front of me so I ran up to it, opened the door and as I was sitting down I saw the driver. She was an amazingly beautiful girl with a very short skirt who lived in the Bahamas and asked me what there was to do in Miami and if I would like to show her the town.
What was I going to show her, the streets I had just been on?
I told her I didn't know of anything and when we came to the dock, I got out of the car, thanked her for the ride and went to bed.
Our ship stayed for a few nights in Miami, FL which meant I couldn't go to visit my friends and church. So I decided to take my bible and my thumb with me and check out Miami. I was really good with directions and had no idea where anything was so I thought I would just go aimlessly and explore...oh my, what a mistake I made. I should have stayed at the ship, but I was hoping to discover something special in Miami.
After catching a ride downtown I somehow ended up walking through the poorest and the most dangerous place in Miami (a few short years before riots ruled the streets). Tension was in the air, a lot of people were out in the streets at night and I was walking through the streets like a fish out of water. Up until then, I had been in many different and sometimes scary situations that somehow didn't faze me much, but walking by myself through the streets with people staring at me like I didn't belong scared me. I picked up my pace and walked as fast as I could trying to find my way out of the neighborhood I got into. As I was speed walking down the street hoping the end was close somebody said, "That bible isn't going to save him here."
Several blocks later I was out safely on a highway ready to go home. Whether it was the bible or not, I made it out without any problems and got back on the highway where I hitched a ride back to the ship.
A very expensive foreign sports car with 2 seats stopped in front of me so I ran up to it, opened the door and as I was sitting down I saw the driver. She was an amazingly beautiful girl with a very short skirt who lived in the Bahamas and asked me what there was to do in Miami and if I would like to show her the town.
What was I going to show her, the streets I had just been on?
I told her I didn't know of anything and when we came to the dock, I got out of the car, thanked her for the ride and went to bed.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Jethro Tull in 1972 with Ray
August 1972
Looking for stuff to do Ray and I decided to talk to people outside a Jethro Tull concert. So we drove down and found people to talk to. Usually, when we witnessed we would split for different reasons. I preferred talking to people alone rather than with another Christian. As best as I can figure, it was because I didn't like ganging up on somebody else... and there was another reason - I was competitive and Ray (unacknowledged to me at the time) was as good as me if not better at witnessing.
Even though I had a success or two in helping others pray to become Christian, my great victories that night were overshadowed by Ray's.
The night was winding down and it was time for me to meet up with Ray again, but when I found him he was with 10 guys praying to become Christian. Before they left they all gave Ray their drugs to destroy.
Now don't go thinking Ray kept those drugs; he did get rid of them.
Looking for stuff to do Ray and I decided to talk to people outside a Jethro Tull concert. So we drove down and found people to talk to. Usually, when we witnessed we would split for different reasons. I preferred talking to people alone rather than with another Christian. As best as I can figure, it was because I didn't like ganging up on somebody else... and there was another reason - I was competitive and Ray (unacknowledged to me at the time) was as good as me if not better at witnessing.
Even though I had a success or two in helping others pray to become Christian, my great victories that night were overshadowed by Ray's.
The night was winding down and it was time for me to meet up with Ray again, but when I found him he was with 10 guys praying to become Christian. Before they left they all gave Ray their drugs to destroy.
Now don't go thinking Ray kept those drugs; he did get rid of them.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Charismatics
May 1972
Most people do not differenciate between Pentecostals and Charismatics. Even if somebody belongs to one of these groups, chances are, that somebody has no clue there is a difference, but there is.
The Pentecostals began at the turn of the Century 110 years ago (1900) and grew among poorer and seemingly less educated until 50 years later they rose through the economic ranks and became acceptable among other evangelicals in the 60s and 70s.
Pentecostals said that the Baptism of the Holy Spirit comes after conversion and is always evidenced by the speaking in tongues. If you don't speak in tongues, you are not baptized in the Holy Spirit.
Traveling evangelists coming from the Pentecostals held tent meetings in different states who made amazing claims of healings and even raising people from the dead. The Assemblies of God (Pentecostal denomination) decided back in the 40s and 50s that these people were not on the up and up - they were false prophets, phony, illegitimate...you get the picture.
The Charismatics started in 1960 by an Episcopal priest - Father Dennis Bennett who led his congregation into the pentecostal experience. The movement grew to millions within a few short years reaching almost every Protestant and then even Catholic denomination.
Like the Pentecostals, the Charismatics teach that there is a 2nd experience called the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, but unlike the Pentecostals the Charismatics believe one can be baptized with the Holy Spirit and not speak in tongues. To be sure the gifts are taught and practiced, but tongues are not necessary.
Those Charismatics who were not associated with or those coming out of a denomination started their own churches, every one having the names "Word of..." in it - just kidding, kind of....
Whereas Pentecostal denominational leaders didn't like those traveling evangelists making wild assertions of raising the dead and the like, the Charismatics loved them and promoted their writings and their teachings.
Even though churches like the AG even now try to keep some of the Charismatic teachings out, a lot of the Pentecostal pastors promote and accept the Charismatic teachings and influences, thus many Pentecostal do not even know there is a difference between the two groups.
Ok if that didn't confuse you, you are doing pretty good. The point of the whole thing is this - there is a difference between the Charismatics and the Pentecostals. In 1972 I was smack dab in the middle of both camps, going to a Pentecostal church and listening and attending meetings of Charismatic teachers, of whom Derek Prince was my favorite.
Most people do not differenciate between Pentecostals and Charismatics. Even if somebody belongs to one of these groups, chances are, that somebody has no clue there is a difference, but there is.
The Pentecostals began at the turn of the Century 110 years ago (1900) and grew among poorer and seemingly less educated until 50 years later they rose through the economic ranks and became acceptable among other evangelicals in the 60s and 70s.
Pentecostals said that the Baptism of the Holy Spirit comes after conversion and is always evidenced by the speaking in tongues. If you don't speak in tongues, you are not baptized in the Holy Spirit.
Traveling evangelists coming from the Pentecostals held tent meetings in different states who made amazing claims of healings and even raising people from the dead. The Assemblies of God (Pentecostal denomination) decided back in the 40s and 50s that these people were not on the up and up - they were false prophets, phony, illegitimate...you get the picture.
The Charismatics started in 1960 by an Episcopal priest - Father Dennis Bennett who led his congregation into the pentecostal experience. The movement grew to millions within a few short years reaching almost every Protestant and then even Catholic denomination.
Like the Pentecostals, the Charismatics teach that there is a 2nd experience called the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, but unlike the Pentecostals the Charismatics believe one can be baptized with the Holy Spirit and not speak in tongues. To be sure the gifts are taught and practiced, but tongues are not necessary.
Those Charismatics who were not associated with or those coming out of a denomination started their own churches, every one having the names "Word of..." in it - just kidding, kind of....
Whereas Pentecostal denominational leaders didn't like those traveling evangelists making wild assertions of raising the dead and the like, the Charismatics loved them and promoted their writings and their teachings.
Even though churches like the AG even now try to keep some of the Charismatic teachings out, a lot of the Pentecostal pastors promote and accept the Charismatic teachings and influences, thus many Pentecostal do not even know there is a difference between the two groups.
Ok if that didn't confuse you, you are doing pretty good. The point of the whole thing is this - there is a difference between the Charismatics and the Pentecostals. In 1972 I was smack dab in the middle of both camps, going to a Pentecostal church and listening and attending meetings of Charismatic teachers, of whom Derek Prince was my favorite.
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