December 1971
I went home to Milwaukee, WI for Christmas 1971 with a suitcase full of witnessing material. I had grown accustomed to handing out pamphlets called "tracts" to people. Many of them were dire warnings of hell, fire and brimstone, others promised great rewards, but all of them were about Jesus. When I got home I put the tracts on the dining room table for all to see.
I found out that during the last few weeks my younger brother David (4 years younger than me) joined up with Cindy in going to church, bible studies and all. David was the artist in the family. Indeed, we were all very gifted in art, my mother taught art, and every one of us kids had a crud load of creativity, but David's cartooning abilities stood out. In art class David blew the teachers away. While other kids faithfully followed the teacher's instructions, David took those instructions to new levels with humor and talent and a taste of rebellion in his work. Years later, during art college he teamed up with two good friends, one of which designed the Porsche Boxter (Grant Larson). David now designs figures for McDonald's, Burger King, Warner Bros and so on.
David used to hang out with another brother, Eric (a year younger than David), and our next door neighbor Paul, but David's going to church began to strain their relationship a bit.
Going home for Leave, I had several goals in mind. I wanted to witness to my family, I wanted to witness to my friends and I wanted to destroy every one of my albums. I began with my albums - all 81 of them. I sat out in the back yard and with a nail I scratched through every one of them. My brothers watched me in horror and disbelief. But they always hated Grand Funk Railroad, so when I pulled out those albums my brothers grabbed the nail from me and went at it with pleasure.
My friends came over the 2nd night and we got into a heated discussion about Jesus and Rock and Roll. By the end of the night one of my friends, Pete bet me I'd be right back into drugs. We sealed the bet with a handshake (a year later he conceded the loss, but reminded me we didn't bet any money).
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Elmbrook Church and Wyn Couchman
December 1971
Shortly before Cindy started going to bible study, Wyn Couchman's son began bringing all of his friends home - all the time. So Wyn and her husband Bob began a bible study for them that grew and grew and grew some more. Eventually these bible studies were filling her living room and other rooms in the house with 50 to 100 kids (Senior High and College age). The groups continued for 10 to 15 years.
Cindy started when the study was young so she was close to the kids of the mom who started the whole thing, Wyn. Furthermore, the people of these groups all went to a growing Non-Denominational (Elmbrook Church) church that had just hired a new pastor from England (Stuart Briscoe).
As Cindy started attending Elmbrook she noticed that our cousins were there. They (5kids and both parents) had all recently become born again Christians and were fellowshiping at Elmbrook.
On Leave I attended Elmbrook and loved it. The pastor was incredibly good and the people were wonderful. I fell in love with it.
Elmbrook Church and the Couchman's bible study taught me early on that God worked outside Pentecostal circles just as much as he does inside. It was also at Elmbrook several years later that I ran into the 2 Jesus Freaks who were at my High School (see Mr. Gunderson and the Jesus Freaks below). I told them how I was there listening to them at the auditorium of my High School in 1970 while they witnessed to us. One of the guys told me he was embarrassed by that episode because they were so young and all.
I don't know... Sure they were young and inexperienced and all, but how many people do you know that stand before several hundred people sharing their faith in a public school? And yeah they were over the top and all, as I definately was during my first time home with my family, but despite all my foolishness, overzealousness, weirdness and all... unbelievable things were about to happen with my brothers and sisters in part as a result of my visit.
Shortly before Cindy started going to bible study, Wyn Couchman's son began bringing all of his friends home - all the time. So Wyn and her husband Bob began a bible study for them that grew and grew and grew some more. Eventually these bible studies were filling her living room and other rooms in the house with 50 to 100 kids (Senior High and College age). The groups continued for 10 to 15 years.
Cindy started when the study was young so she was close to the kids of the mom who started the whole thing, Wyn. Furthermore, the people of these groups all went to a growing Non-Denominational (Elmbrook Church) church that had just hired a new pastor from England (Stuart Briscoe).
As Cindy started attending Elmbrook she noticed that our cousins were there. They (5kids and both parents) had all recently become born again Christians and were fellowshiping at Elmbrook.
On Leave I attended Elmbrook and loved it. The pastor was incredibly good and the people were wonderful. I fell in love with it.
Elmbrook Church and the Couchman's bible study taught me early on that God worked outside Pentecostal circles just as much as he does inside. It was also at Elmbrook several years later that I ran into the 2 Jesus Freaks who were at my High School (see Mr. Gunderson and the Jesus Freaks below). I told them how I was there listening to them at the auditorium of my High School in 1970 while they witnessed to us. One of the guys told me he was embarrassed by that episode because they were so young and all.
I don't know... Sure they were young and inexperienced and all, but how many people do you know that stand before several hundred people sharing their faith in a public school? And yeah they were over the top and all, as I definately was during my first time home with my family, but despite all my foolishness, overzealousness, weirdness and all... unbelievable things were about to happen with my brothers and sisters in part as a result of my visit.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Oh No! Does God Want Me to Date Her?
December 1972
Ray started dating Linda who had a friend who was a girl who sat in the back of the car with me as I hung out with Ray and his girlfriend. Periodically Ray and Linda used to look in the back seat with me and this girl sitting there by ourselves not talking to each other. From the front they terrified me by saying over and over, "You guys make a good lookin' couple." I was horrified.
I may sound pretty shallow, but Linda's friend was not pretty. I know that beauty is skin deep, but she was not pretty inside or outside. Wherever we went, this cloud hung over her. She could make your happy day a miserably depressing one. She had that effect. She oozed negativity.
So after hearing Ray and Linda several times telling us how great a couple we were, I began thinking God wanted me to date her.
We arrived at her house to drop her off and Ray quietly told me to walk her to her door... and as I walked I thought, "God wants me to go out with her and I have to kiss her."
Now there are probably worse things in life, but I can't think of anything worse off hand.
I got to her door and as she waited for my good bye kiss, I said to myself, "I don't care if God wants me to date her, I am not going to." I turned around to go back to the car, believing that I committed a sin, but as I walked back to the car, I felt profoundly good. It was as if God was saying, "You don't have to date her."
Several months later Brian (the guy who brought me to Christ, who was also the most godly and one of the smartest people I knew) came to me for the only advice he'd ever turn to me for. "God has given you a ministry with women," he said (I never really thought about it like that, but I did date a lot of girls). He continued, "My two married friends have been telling me how good it would be if I dated this particular girl. She's nice and all, but I'm just not interested. Do you think God wants me to marry her?" I knew the answer to that one right away and was glad to help Brian find relief.
Ray started dating Linda who had a friend who was a girl who sat in the back of the car with me as I hung out with Ray and his girlfriend. Periodically Ray and Linda used to look in the back seat with me and this girl sitting there by ourselves not talking to each other. From the front they terrified me by saying over and over, "You guys make a good lookin' couple." I was horrified.
I may sound pretty shallow, but Linda's friend was not pretty. I know that beauty is skin deep, but she was not pretty inside or outside. Wherever we went, this cloud hung over her. She could make your happy day a miserably depressing one. She had that effect. She oozed negativity.
So after hearing Ray and Linda several times telling us how great a couple we were, I began thinking God wanted me to date her.
We arrived at her house to drop her off and Ray quietly told me to walk her to her door... and as I walked I thought, "God wants me to go out with her and I have to kiss her."
Now there are probably worse things in life, but I can't think of anything worse off hand.
I got to her door and as she waited for my good bye kiss, I said to myself, "I don't care if God wants me to date her, I am not going to." I turned around to go back to the car, believing that I committed a sin, but as I walked back to the car, I felt profoundly good. It was as if God was saying, "You don't have to date her."
Several months later Brian (the guy who brought me to Christ, who was also the most godly and one of the smartest people I knew) came to me for the only advice he'd ever turn to me for. "God has given you a ministry with women," he said (I never really thought about it like that, but I did date a lot of girls). He continued, "My two married friends have been telling me how good it would be if I dated this particular girl. She's nice and all, but I'm just not interested. Do you think God wants me to marry her?" I knew the answer to that one right away and was glad to help Brian find relief.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
My First Fiance
January - March 1972
She was a very pretty girl with a lot of insecurities. I went out with her for 3 months and was engaged to her for one day and yet I don't remember her name- I remember her dog's name, but I cannot remember her's for the life of me. Oh yeah, it was Sharron. I guess I just want to forget it.
She was a new Christian getting out of a Lesbian affair when I met her. She and I flirted very Christianlike, and within a few days I was hitchhiking to her apartment where we talked and talked and talked.
Once we began dating steadily, I discovered she had huge mood swings. One day she would be so friendly and romantic and sweet, but the next day, she treated me like crap and not just a little bit. She never liked me playing my guitar and by all means she didn't like reading the bible with me ever and because I spent so much time with her I stopped reading the bible entirely for three months which is how long we dated.
However, there was this one weekend during our relationship that I hitchhiked to South Side Assembly of God instead of her apartment. For the entire weekend I hung out with the AG crowd and in particular with a nice looking girl named Pam.
I saw Pam for a couple of months before but never noticed how pretty she was until that weekend. She had been praying that God would help us to date, and as far as I was concerned that was a good prayer.
After a weekend of feeling incredibly free from Sharron, I returned to her and got a good scolding for not hanging out with her for 2 days.
I don't know all the reasons I stayed in such an unhealthy relationship. I can tell you the relationship made me feel smothered and it soaked the life right out of me. Since that relationship, I have met others stuck in life sucking relationships.
Even my relationship with God was getting to an all time low, but I knew there were boundaries that I had to keep such as having sex before marriage, so when I knew we could wait no longer I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
A week before I got engaged, a good friend Tommy Booth told me I was slipping away from God. I didn't like what he was saying and got mad at him for interfering in my life. But the day after I asked my girlfriend to marry me, Brian (the one who led me to Christ) asked me how I was doing. I told him I was doing great and that I was going to get married!
A strange look came over Brian. It was that look I saw the day he led me to Christ. Brian said, "Come with me." Hate and anger filled my heart as we walked into the ship, "He has no business in my life like this," I thought to myself. But before we got into his room something else came over me, "How can you feel this toward a friend?" In that moment my heart changed and I knew my relationship with my fiance was over.
Brian sat down with me and told me that one cannot expect a turkey to be done in a few minutes but that a turkey needs time to cook.... He was only telling me to wait, but I already knew that I had to get out of a very unhealthy relationship, so I told him I was going to quit the relationship. Brian repeated that he was only suggesting that I give it more time. But I knew that it would never get better and I knew that I needed to break up. I went to her apartment that day and told her.
I felt freed from a smothering relationship that literally sucked life out of me, but spiritually and emotionally I was still at an all time low. Somewhere in the past 3 months I stopped praying and somewhere I stopped reading the bible. I had backslidden.
She was a very pretty girl with a lot of insecurities. I went out with her for 3 months and was engaged to her for one day and yet I don't remember her name- I remember her dog's name, but I cannot remember her's for the life of me. Oh yeah, it was Sharron. I guess I just want to forget it.
She was a new Christian getting out of a Lesbian affair when I met her. She and I flirted very Christianlike, and within a few days I was hitchhiking to her apartment where we talked and talked and talked.
Once we began dating steadily, I discovered she had huge mood swings. One day she would be so friendly and romantic and sweet, but the next day, she treated me like crap and not just a little bit. She never liked me playing my guitar and by all means she didn't like reading the bible with me ever and because I spent so much time with her I stopped reading the bible entirely for three months which is how long we dated.
However, there was this one weekend during our relationship that I hitchhiked to South Side Assembly of God instead of her apartment. For the entire weekend I hung out with the AG crowd and in particular with a nice looking girl named Pam.
I saw Pam for a couple of months before but never noticed how pretty she was until that weekend. She had been praying that God would help us to date, and as far as I was concerned that was a good prayer.
After a weekend of feeling incredibly free from Sharron, I returned to her and got a good scolding for not hanging out with her for 2 days.
I don't know all the reasons I stayed in such an unhealthy relationship. I can tell you the relationship made me feel smothered and it soaked the life right out of me. Since that relationship, I have met others stuck in life sucking relationships.
Even my relationship with God was getting to an all time low, but I knew there were boundaries that I had to keep such as having sex before marriage, so when I knew we could wait no longer I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
A week before I got engaged, a good friend Tommy Booth told me I was slipping away from God. I didn't like what he was saying and got mad at him for interfering in my life. But the day after I asked my girlfriend to marry me, Brian (the one who led me to Christ) asked me how I was doing. I told him I was doing great and that I was going to get married!
A strange look came over Brian. It was that look I saw the day he led me to Christ. Brian said, "Come with me." Hate and anger filled my heart as we walked into the ship, "He has no business in my life like this," I thought to myself. But before we got into his room something else came over me, "How can you feel this toward a friend?" In that moment my heart changed and I knew my relationship with my fiance was over.
Brian sat down with me and told me that one cannot expect a turkey to be done in a few minutes but that a turkey needs time to cook.... He was only telling me to wait, but I already knew that I had to get out of a very unhealthy relationship, so I told him I was going to quit the relationship. Brian repeated that he was only suggesting that I give it more time. But I knew that it would never get better and I knew that I needed to break up. I went to her apartment that day and told her.
I felt freed from a smothering relationship that literally sucked life out of me, but spiritually and emotionally I was still at an all time low. Somewhere in the past 3 months I stopped praying and somewhere I stopped reading the bible. I had backslidden.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
The Coyle Girls
February 1972
After one 3 day vacation I came back to the ship's dock just before 9:00 a.m. to find the ship was gone. It had already taken off for the day and I was left alone on the dock until several minutes later when Berney Coyle drove up with his very sweet wife and two daughters ages 12 and 14. Berney was also on vacation so seeing that we both missed the boat, he offered to take me around with him and his family for the day.
I sat in the back seat with his 2 daughters Karen and Kim. These 2 girls were the cutest kids with a ton of energy. While we drove back into town the two girls discovered that I had a little pack of scripture memory cards that my girlfriend gave to me early in our unhealthy dating relationship. The girls asked me what they were and I told them what they were. "What do they say?" one would ask. Then the other would say, "What do they mean?" This went on and on as I read one after another.
I was not doing well with my spiritual life and I didn't want to talk about Jesus with 2 kids in front of their parents who believed something else. I prefered talking to the parents directly first. I was in a bind, so I only answered the bare minimum of each question that was bombarding me. At the end of our trip I let them keep the bible verse cards.
Berney lived with his family in a house boat where we stayed until the ship came back to port when Berney and I went back to the ship.
Several days later Berney came to me, "What did you do to my girls?" "What do you mean?" I replied. Berney explained, "They pray together and they jump up and down on their beds reciting bible verses." Fortunately for me, Berney was perplexed but not bothered by the events. In fact, he asked me to take them to a Christian church. I took them to South Side AG after which they told me that they loved the music but didn't like the preacher who was a too loud.
I never saw them again, but from time to time I pray for them.
After one 3 day vacation I came back to the ship's dock just before 9:00 a.m. to find the ship was gone. It had already taken off for the day and I was left alone on the dock until several minutes later when Berney Coyle drove up with his very sweet wife and two daughters ages 12 and 14. Berney was also on vacation so seeing that we both missed the boat, he offered to take me around with him and his family for the day.
I sat in the back seat with his 2 daughters Karen and Kim. These 2 girls were the cutest kids with a ton of energy. While we drove back into town the two girls discovered that I had a little pack of scripture memory cards that my girlfriend gave to me early in our unhealthy dating relationship. The girls asked me what they were and I told them what they were. "What do they say?" one would ask. Then the other would say, "What do they mean?" This went on and on as I read one after another.
I was not doing well with my spiritual life and I didn't want to talk about Jesus with 2 kids in front of their parents who believed something else. I prefered talking to the parents directly first. I was in a bind, so I only answered the bare minimum of each question that was bombarding me. At the end of our trip I let them keep the bible verse cards.
Berney lived with his family in a house boat where we stayed until the ship came back to port when Berney and I went back to the ship.
Several days later Berney came to me, "What did you do to my girls?" "What do you mean?" I replied. Berney explained, "They pray together and they jump up and down on their beds reciting bible verses." Fortunately for me, Berney was perplexed but not bothered by the events. In fact, he asked me to take them to a Christian church. I took them to South Side AG after which they told me that they loved the music but didn't like the preacher who was a too loud.
I never saw them again, but from time to time I pray for them.
Friday, February 27, 2009
If That Isn't Love
March 1972
I had broken up with my girlfriend and one day fiance a week before the day I went to the officer's quarters to ask Brian about something. Brian had a Jimmy Swaggart tape in his tape recorder playing in the background as I sat down to ask him about whatever I needed to ask him.
In the background a song came on I never heard before called, "How Long Has It Been?" The words cut through me:
How long has it been since you talked with the Lord
And told him your heart's hid in secrets
How long since you prayed how long since you stayed
On your knees till the light shone through
How long has it been since your mind felt at ease
How long since your heart knew no burden
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
How long has it been since you knelt by and then prayed to the Lord up in heaven
How long since you knew that he'd answer you
And would keep you the long night through
How long has it been since you woke with the dawn and felt this day is worth living
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
I sobbed uncontrollably out loud.
After the song I explained to Brian that I had backslidden and as I finally gained my composure another song came on written by Dottie Rambo:
He left the splendor of heaven
Knowing His destiny
It was the lonely hill of Golgotha
There to lay down His life for me
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Even in death He remembered
The thief hanging by His side
Then he spoke of love and compassion
And He took him to paradise
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Without the Word and Prayer in my life, there was a huge void. I felt alienated from God, like God was disappointed in me and I didn't want to face it or deal with it. This void didn't come overnight but came gradually, day by day, so slowly that I didn't realize I had fallen and had no clue how far from God I was. My attitude changed as I became more and more critical about the church and people in it.
Even when I knew that I had fallen, I had no clue how to get back out of the pit I had dug for myself. I felt God was angry with me and would not want me back right away, but while in this state, in Brian's room, my life placed back on track as I listened to the words of God's forgiveness in the songs.
I felt like the Prodigal Son felt in Luke 15, who left his home and turned his back on his father in order to get "freedom" and to be on his own. He had friends and partied until one day his income dried up and he was left without anywhere to go. He sold himself to the lowest of jobs until he finally decided it was time to swallow his pride and go home. So with his tail between his legs he went back home.
The parable is surprising, because we learn that his dad was waiting for him. His dad didn't scold him, lecture him, get angry or yell at him. His dad ran to his son and hugged him with the biggest and most intense hug. I felt that in Brian's room. It was overwhelming and that is why all I could do is cry.
The story in Luke 15 continues to say that dad then gave his lost son clean clothes and threw the best welcome home party.
I wept again and I knew that God loved me.
I had broken up with my girlfriend and one day fiance a week before the day I went to the officer's quarters to ask Brian about something. Brian had a Jimmy Swaggart tape in his tape recorder playing in the background as I sat down to ask him about whatever I needed to ask him.
In the background a song came on I never heard before called, "How Long Has It Been?" The words cut through me:
How long has it been since you talked with the Lord
And told him your heart's hid in secrets
How long since you prayed how long since you stayed
On your knees till the light shone through
How long has it been since your mind felt at ease
How long since your heart knew no burden
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
How long has it been since you knelt by and then prayed to the Lord up in heaven
How long since you knew that he'd answer you
And would keep you the long night through
How long has it been since you woke with the dawn and felt this day is worth living
Can you call him your friend how long has it been since you knew that he cared for you
I sobbed uncontrollably out loud.
After the song I explained to Brian that I had backslidden and as I finally gained my composure another song came on written by Dottie Rambo:
He left the splendor of heaven
Knowing His destiny
It was the lonely hill of Golgotha
There to lay down His life for me
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Even in death He remembered
The thief hanging by His side
Then he spoke of love and compassion
And He took him to paradise
And if that isn't love
Then the ocean is dry
There's no stars in the sky
And the sparrows can't fly
If that isn't love
Then heaven's a myth
There's no feeling like this
If that isn't love
Without the Word and Prayer in my life, there was a huge void. I felt alienated from God, like God was disappointed in me and I didn't want to face it or deal with it. This void didn't come overnight but came gradually, day by day, so slowly that I didn't realize I had fallen and had no clue how far from God I was. My attitude changed as I became more and more critical about the church and people in it.
Even when I knew that I had fallen, I had no clue how to get back out of the pit I had dug for myself. I felt God was angry with me and would not want me back right away, but while in this state, in Brian's room, my life placed back on track as I listened to the words of God's forgiveness in the songs.
I felt like the Prodigal Son felt in Luke 15, who left his home and turned his back on his father in order to get "freedom" and to be on his own. He had friends and partied until one day his income dried up and he was left without anywhere to go. He sold himself to the lowest of jobs until he finally decided it was time to swallow his pride and go home. So with his tail between his legs he went back home.
The parable is surprising, because we learn that his dad was waiting for him. His dad didn't scold him, lecture him, get angry or yell at him. His dad ran to his son and hugged him with the biggest and most intense hug. I felt that in Brian's room. It was overwhelming and that is why all I could do is cry.
The story in Luke 15 continues to say that dad then gave his lost son clean clothes and threw the best welcome home party.
I wept again and I knew that God loved me.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Girl Who Broke My Heart
April 1972
Pam stood in the choir week after week and I never noticed her, until one day her deep blue eyes fell upon me and mine upon hers'; we were dating shortly after. Most of our dates were exciting Sunday mornings holding hands in the back of the church, but after a month or two of dating I showed up at church and Pam was not sitting in the back of the church awaiting my presence, she was sitting in the front of the church with her parents. My heart sank.
Pam stood in the choir week after week and I never noticed her, until one day her deep blue eyes fell upon me and mine upon hers'; we were dating shortly after. Most of our dates were exciting Sunday mornings holding hands in the back of the church, but after a month or two of dating I showed up at church and Pam was not sitting in the back of the church awaiting my presence, she was sitting in the front of the church with her parents. My heart sank.
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