My First Fiance

January - March 1972

She was a very pretty girl with a lot of insecurities. I went out with her for 3 months and was engaged to her for one day and yet I don't remember her name- I remember her dog's name, but I cannot remember her's for the life of me. Oh yeah, it was Sharron. I guess I just want to forget it.

She was a new Christian getting out of a Lesbian affair when I met her. She and I flirted very Christianlike, and within a few days I was hitchhiking to her apartment where we talked and talked and talked.

Once we began dating steadily, I discovered she had huge mood swings. One day she would be so friendly and romantic and sweet, but the next day, she treated me like crap and not just a little bit. She never liked me playing my guitar and by all means she didn't like reading the bible with me ever and because I spent so much time with her I stopped reading the bible entirely for three months which is how long we dated.

However, there was this one weekend during our relationship that I hitchhiked to South Side Assembly of God instead of her apartment. For the entire weekend I hung out with the AG crowd and in particular with a nice looking girl named Pam.

I saw Pam for a couple of months before but never noticed how pretty she was until that weekend. She had been praying that God would help us to date, and as far as I was concerned that was a good prayer.

After a weekend of feeling incredibly free from Sharron, I returned to her and got a good scolding for not hanging out with her for 2 days.

I don't know all the reasons I stayed in such an unhealthy relationship. I can tell you the relationship made me feel smothered and it soaked the life right out of me. Since that relationship, I have met others stuck in life sucking relationships.

Even my relationship with God was getting to an all time low, but I knew there were boundaries that I had to keep such as having sex before marriage, so when I knew we could wait no longer I asked her to marry me. She said yes.

A week before I got engaged, a good friend Tommy Booth told me I was slipping away from God. I didn't like what he was saying and got mad at him for interfering in my life. But the day after I asked my girlfriend to marry me, Brian (the one who led me to Christ) asked me how I was doing. I told him I was doing great and that I was going to get married!

A strange look came over Brian. It was that look I saw the day he led me to Christ. Brian said, "Come with me." Hate and anger filled my heart as we walked into the ship, "He has no business in my life like this," I thought to myself. But before we got into his room something else came over me, "How can you feel this toward a friend?" In that moment my heart changed and I knew my relationship with my fiance was over.

Brian sat down with me and told me that one cannot expect a turkey to be done in a few minutes but that a turkey needs time to cook.... He was only telling me to wait, but I already knew that I had to get out of a very unhealthy relationship, so I told him I was going to quit the relationship. Brian repeated that he was only suggesting that I give it more time. But I knew that it would never get better and I knew that I needed to break up. I went to her apartment that day and told her.

I felt freed from a smothering relationship that literally sucked life out of me, but spiritually and emotionally I was still at an all time low. Somewhere in the past 3 months I stopped praying and somewhere I stopped reading the bible. I had backslidden.